jenn's commentary

Elphaba the girl does not know how to see her father as a broken man. All she knows is that he passes his brokenness on to her. Daily his habits of loathing and self-loathing cripple her. Daily she loves him back because she knows no other way.

gregory maguire

sometimes i get all impatient and start ramming puzzle pieces in the wrong places.
i know they're the right puzzle pieces. they're not errant pieces from some other box. they belong to this puzzle. it's just not the right time or right place to put them in.
i can see that they BELONG in the puzzle though. and they LOOK like they're going to fit. and then i'm all happy because the puzzle is becoming...
but when i go to put them in place, they don't quite fit yet.
i'm putting them in in the wrong order...

***sigh***
patience...

God is good
He gives me what i need when i need it
not what i want, necessarily, but what i need
sometimes i'm not even looking for Him, listening for Him, expecting Him and He comes and shows me something miraculous, comforting, profound

and sometimes when i am looking and listening and expecting, He is silent

but He knows better than me
and i know enough to just trust
God is good

i knew i was almost out of gas when i left darla's house. the last thing i thought as i drove down her street was "i wonder where a gas station is..." and then when i got to the main road i saw the sign for the highway back to toronto and all thoughts of an esso completely vanished...
and did not return until the little yellow gas light came on, which, as luck would have it, did not happen until i was well away from the lights of peterborough and nowhere near the lights of anywhere else.
in a very responsible way, i immediately got off the highway and started looking for a gas station in town. unfortunately, these are very small towns and it was 9:30 at night.
so i got back on the highway and determined that ACTUAL wisdom would be staying on the highway until i saw either a gas station or a sign for one.
the needle was hovering over empty for a really really long time.
i started off kind of stressing about it, but after a few minutes i realized stressing wasn't changing anything: it didn't refill my tank. it didn't make my car require less gas to run. it didn't cause a gas station to magically appear.
so i let it go.
i know that if i run out of gas it's not the end of the world.
i know that it's my own fault for being flakey.
i know that God is with me.
why stress??